I wasn’t just struck by this photo because it’s adorable, I was struck because it symbolizes to me what true love is. There is a video that gives some background about this couple with 50 years of marriage and, clearly, love. It shows a remarkable example of unconditional love. Don’t miss the tiera - it broke me open. The video made me think of mom and dad who are married close to 60 years. Sadly, my dad’s strength doesn’t allow him to bike her around, but his whole life is about wheeling my mom to doctors in her wheelchair, helping her dress, wrapping her swollen legs busting with pain from lymphedema, shopping for her 7Up’s and pickles (even though she really shouldn’t have them), and filling up her seven day pill containers with the complicated system of pills by number, some sliced, some not. It does wear on him. Especially now that he can’t walk across the room without heaving. He helps her day in and day out. He never had to lift a finger or a diaper when we were growing up. She was the domestic goddess, and he now feels it’s his duty to be at her beck and call. These role reversals in life are everywhere around me lately and on a good day I see them as stunning and sadly sweet. Especially with our elders. It always make me wonder how we are doing at caring for them in our society at large and if we are doing a good enough job. We are not dying as young as we used to be. Quite the opposite. According to the Administration on Aging, there are approximately 40 million Americans considered as the older population (persons 65 years or older). They estimate by 2030 there will be 72 million. Analysis basically is showing that we are living longer, and healthier. According to last year’s count, close to 50% non-institutionalized older persons assessed their health as excellent or very good. Not so bad. All this to say, we are doing something right. Unless we are doing something wrong. It opens up a huge questions as to how we are taking care of our elders and ourselves. Can we sustain it? One of my favorites blogs, The New York Times New Old Age blog, speaks to the marvels of medical science and the complexities on aging. Our parents are living longer. Much longer than ever before and adults over 80 are actually THE fastest growing segment of the population. As a BaBoo myself (Baby Boomer) - I am very close to that phase where I may need to make some major life adjustments to care for my parents. For now they are still managing on their own. I work to stay in that gratitude that my dad can still get up out of bed and tend to my mom’s needs, and that she can still wheel herself into the kitchen and stir up a pot of brown meat and gravy. Until she can’t. I’m inspired lately to call them daily. Sometimes twice. Just to laugh or listen or both. I like to get their voicemail occasionally and listen to my mom’s voice tell me that they are not home at the moment, because they won’t be some day. That’s reality. But they are now.
