1. Mighty Squirrel Beer You’re rocking something that goes beyond a bona fide dad bod, but there’s no way in hell you’re giving up beer just to lose a few pounds. And thanks to this new brew, which boasts 5 grams protein per 175-calorie bottle, you don’t have to.
  2. NutriWise Pizza Protein Potato ChipsThe fact that some food marketing exec a) assumed that health-conscious eaters would find a pizza-flavored potato chip delicious and b) want these chips to contain 10 grams of soy protein isolate per serving is almost insulting.   MORE: Can Too Much Protein Make You Gain Weight?
  3. Rap Protein Gummies Don’t take this the wrong way, but…if you’re turning to strawberry-flavored fruit snacks to meet your protein needs, you’re doing it wrong. If you want to relive your childhood for a minute, just splurge on a pack of Gushers (or whatever) and move on with your life.
  4. Devotion Vodka   According to Liquor.com, this certified non-GMO vodka is infused with protein. But according to Devotion Vodka’s website, there are precisely 0 grams of protein in a 1.5-oz serving. Does that mean you have to get really wasted to reap the full muscle-building benefits?
  5. Kay’s Naturals Gluten-Free Cinnamon Toast Protein Pretzel SticksWhy eat boring almonds when you can snack on cinnamon-flavored pretzels made with 12 grams of soy protein isolate per serving? According to one online reviewer, they have the same “magical melt in your mouth” effects that normal pretzels have, and they’ll keep you satisfied for three hours. MORE: The Six Cleanest Protein Powders for Your Smoothie
  6. MHP Power Pak High Protein PuddingThis chocolate pudding is touted as a “mouthwatering indulgence.” Maybe we’re the crazy ones here, but we’ve never actually salivated over a dessert made with modified food starch, canola oil, sodium polyphosphate, and sucralose—even if it does pack 30 grams of protein.  
  7. Isagenix Whey Thins If you long to scarf down handfuls of Wheat Thins but can’t because they don’t have enough protein, this is the guilt-free alternative for you. These cracker-esque snacks pack 10 grams protein per serving, which the manufacturer says can stimulate your metabolism. Skinny jeans, here you come.  
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