More from Prevention: 8 Ways To Clobber The Big Headache “The challenge for people with chronic migraines is to find the right balance between caring for themselves and also functioning at their jobs, among their friends, and in their families. And that can be as tough, in its own way, as dealing with the headaches,” says psychologist Alvin Lake III, PhD, who is director of behavioral medicine at the Michigan Head-Pain & Neurological Institute in Ann Arbor. The key, says Lake, is to let the people in your life know how you’re feeling without letting your condition take complete control. He suggests that you: Clue in your kids. “Even really young children need to understand what’s happening when you develop a migraine and perhaps miss a ball game or school recital,” he says. “You may think you’re sparing them by keeping your pain under wraps, but in an information vacuum, kids can develop fears that something terrible may happen to you, especially if you’re often going to bed and retreating because of the pain.” Keep pain complaints to a minimum. “Some people with migraines talk about their pain too much,” says Lake, “and some family members talk about their loved one’s pain too much. When either happens, everything and everyone becomes focused on the pain.” Instead, limit discussions and/or reports of migraine pain to once a day—and then go on with your life. That way, your condition gets the attention it deserves, and best of all, both you and your family get a life. Go out—but give yourself an out. Don’t let the threat of a migraine keep you from socializing with friends. “Just make sure you have an escape plan, a clear, predetermined cue with your family and friends as to what circumstances would prompt you to leave and how you would get home,” suggests Lake. You’ll feel empowered, and your family and friends will be much more understanding. Come clean with your boss. Explain your condition to your employer instead of trying to hide it; otherwise, you may unintentionally give the impression that you’re not committed to your work. “Migraines are included in the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA),” says Lake, “which means that employers of a certain size are required to give up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave a year for this condition.” For more about the FMLA, go to the US Department of Labor. Be there for your family. Tell them you understand that your needs can’t always trump theirs. Consider this scenario: If a woman with recurrent migraines is employed outside the home, she may give her best time to her employer and just crash when she gets home. Her family needs to know from her that they deserve—and can ask for—some of her good time, too. For more about migraines: Visit the National Headache Foundation website, or call toll-free (888) 643-5552.
