To prove it, authors Maryjane Fahey and Caryn Beth Rosenthal cowrote the new book DUMPED (www.dumped411.com, $14.95), which is billed as a “grown-up guide to gettin’ off your ass and over your ex in record time.” It’s filled with empowering messages, quotes from kick-ass women like Mae West, and—most important—tons of laughs. Naturally, we wanted to pick their brains. Here, why there’s an upside to your heartache—and how to embrace it. Why did you write this book?Caryn: Because there was nothing out there to save our rear ends when we walked out or got dumped. After it happened to us, we spent a good year searching high and low for a way to get our lives back and there was nothing out there.Maryjane: The books we found were long-winded and boring. We felt we needed to write a bible of empowerment for girls.Caryn: We did the grunt work so you don’t have to go through all of that. We wanted readers to feel that we’re your two girlfriends who tell you the truth, kick you in the ass, tell you to stop whining and start laughing! About a year after our breakups, we looked at each other, we had our joy back, and Maryjane said to me, “We have to share this!” We want to save the women of America from themselves! What are some important steps to take to bounce back from a breakup?Maryjane: You want to be surrounded by inspiring, strong women. One of the things key to getting your oomph back is be open, curious, and proactive. Fake it till you make it! Tell yourself you’re fabulous and eventually you will be.Caryn: And raise your standards! Say yes to everything. Forgive the asshole! Not because you care about him, but because you care about yourself. That whole forgiveness stuff is for you. We’ll hate his guts for you!Maryjane: And move on. We realize you go through a sad period…we absolutely get that. So write in your journal, and face your fears. Caryn: And when you are doing this and being open and curious and saying yes to everything…that is how you get your joy back. That is how you start feeling good about yourself. Take care of yourself and do fun things. Does that mean dating? Should you wait to date after a big breakup?Caryn: This book isn’t about dating, but once you take care of yourself, you’re more apt to meet someone terrific. If you’re feeling good about yourself, confident and your self-esteem is strong because you’re doing fun, blissful things, you’re more apt to meet people. Take care of yourself and you’ll be in a better place to meet them.Maryjane: Think about what you want in your life, not necessarily who you want in your life.Love that idea. What’s your favorite self-care tip our readers should try out?Caryn: Go out and do fun things to take care of yourself. Maryjane: The more you take care of yourself, the more good things come to you. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you’re great. Be good to yourself. You start to love yourself and attract new things. It works.Caryn: Remember, this is not the end of the world. You can reinvent yourself, you just need to be empowered. We’re there to help you. We’re your two girlfriends in one little book, and we’re going to kick it into high gear for you and we’re not gonna listen to your shit and we’re not going to take no for an answer. Maryjane: Our message is to choose to be happy. We want to kick women in the butt in order to get them there, but laugh along the way during this difficult time of repairing yourself.
