In four separate experiments, UC-Berkeley researchers found that whether a person committed a moral transgression, suffered from a personal weakness, or failed a test, those who responded with self-compassion were more motivated to improve themselves. They also performed better the next time they were presented with a similar situation. More from Prevention.com: How To Finally Be Happy So what exactly is self-compassion? It means treating yourself with warmth and understanding during difficult times, and recognizing that making mistakes is part of being human, says study author Juliana Breines, a PhD candidate at Berkeley. Self-compassion allows you to acknowledge a need for improvement without feeling overwhelmed by negativity, Breines says. “Excessive self-criticism can make people feel like they’re just irrevocably flawed and nothing can be done, while self-compassion preserves hope and faith in yourself without denying that you have flaws,” she explains. Here’s how to add a little self-compassion to your life when faced with these familiar struggles: You cheated on your diet. Remind yourself that keeping to a healthy eating plan is challenging, Breines says. “It’s natural and understandable to crave sweets or unhealthy foods, and to have difficulty turning them down, so don’t beat yourself up,” she says. Going easy on yourself will help you to honestly confront where your vulnerabilities lie (for example, ordering dessert after having a few drinks at a restaurant), and these considerations will help you make healthier choices in the future, Breines says. You gossiped about a coworker. “The urge to gossip is often hard to resist,” Breines says, citing research that gossiping often plays an important social function, and may have evolved over thousands of years. “Tell yourself that passing on a little gossip doesn’t make you a bad person,” she advises. Plus, because people normally gossip to make themselves feel better or superior, self-compassion can help relieve some of that insecurity, making you feel less inclined to gossip the next time around, Breines says. You skipped a workout. Tell yourself it’s okay and natural to not always feel like exercising, and then remind yourself of the reasons why you decided to start working out in the first place, Breines suggests. “Sometimes when people break a healthy goal, they feel so bad about themselves that they just keep breaking it,” she says. Instead of beating yourself up emotionally, encourage yourself to simply do better the next time. (Not sure how to get back on track? See Small Changes That Pay Off Big.)
